You know the feeling you get when you try to stick a thread through a tiny needle hole? The frustration you feel when your attempt is so intense, and yet it just does not seem like the odds are on your faithful side? Pinpoints me. Although, I do so swear that I must be the best thing that has ever happened to Mr.Moon. If it were not so, he would not say it. Batmitten was the only stress reliever that I could discover today.
I don't like not having a job and being broke, depending on my folks for all ends. It is not my idea of a great time. I think I need to reevaluate my life and my actions. Mr.Moon was explaining it to me how Chandan's girlfriend rarely ever texts him or spends much time with him.T he strange thing is, they can spend everyday with each other and even spend the night. Mr.Moon was distrout from this fact, but I found it to be a sign of her independence. He still shot questions towards her alliby: was she running from the sacrifice of a deep relationship? Was she just trying to balance out time for her friends and Chandan? Is she taking the "whenever we want, we can hang out" for granted? Does she just think that they will be together always so she just is not worried about spending every waking moment with him or talking to him? Does she think she'll get tired or bored with him if she does? Is she already bored with it?... Is what I'm doing healthy or is what Gabby doing healthy? Oh, the things we will never know for certain. Even if Gabby's stratagey is healthier, Mr.Moon would refuse to cooperate with that. Ever.
Oh golly, Mr.Moon does not understand how and why I do not want to be married right out of highschool when we are eight-teen. He doesn't understand how we wouldn't be able to support each other just yet. We won't know how to balance finances, and I know that it would be selfish if we got married so soon. This way, my family will be happy and I can grow. I want us to be satisfied when we are married. He doesn't see me when I am all stressed out. Sure, we talk on the phone or text while I am a worry wart, but if we get married and money problems come up, I won't know what to do and I will be a atrocious wife. I just want to grow up. learn life. learn how adults should be, then *when I am ready* be wed to my Mr.Moon. We can be engaged however long. I am not going to date anyone else or leave him. I am not doing it because I think we won't last, I know we will. I am not going to look for anyone else. I just need to know I can balance myself. Yes, I need to be an adult. I'm not ready to rush into business. I'm a bit afraid of after school is all over. Will I be someone? It's something I often worry over. Things don't just happen, one must make them happen.
