[sigh]
I feel so over whelmed and yet I'm not over thinking it. I'm not mad. I'm not sad. I'm not curious. I'm experiencing an absolute emotionless wind, whipping over my skin. I don't know what to believe. I don't like feeling confused or inadequate. What am I? A toy? A joke? Mrs. Buckhaults said to "not present a problem unless you also show a solution." I'm trying to not even show my problems to people. I don't want to vent. I don't want to talk about what upsets me. I don't want to tell anyone anything. I just want it all to go away. I want to embrace things. I want to stop being paranoid. I want to stop wishing that I knew the answers. I want to just stop. Like a big red sign shinning in front of a speeding truck.
I am kind of letting it out at the moment. Bare with me until I regain myself. I don't know much of what it is that I'm looking for now. To be quite frank, without Chad at school it's very hard to stay focused or even want to do anything in class. I only did it to be an example to him. I don't feel like being responsible. I'm a baby, I realize.
Where does "dead as a door knob" come from? How is a door knob dead? It's never alive in the first place? OR.."there's two ways to skin a cat." I mean, why would you want to even preform such a vile thing? I cannot fathom most expressions. Well, Chad introduced me to an interesting song by Shawn McDonald called ALL I NEED. Let's drive this needing thing to the wall, shall we?
